Broadcasting on 13.37 MHz Transmitting

We kept a copy of the internet. Just in case.

Bad Daddy Network is the world's foremost off-grid, off-books backup of the web, the archives, and every show you never finished. When the cloud comes down, we're already moored offshore. Enterprise-grade redundancy for a world that is no longer redundant.

Uptime since last contact with civilization
000d00h00m00s
01

Live network status

Real-time health of every relay still answering hails. We update this board the moment something goes wrong, which is constantly.

Operational integrity: NOMINAL (mostly) Last sync: 4 seconds ago · Next sync: when the tide allows
Crow's-Nest Mirror
MAST·01 / topside
Operational
4.2 PB synced · throughput steady
Bilge Cache
HOLD·03 / below deck
Operational
980 TB cold storage · slightly damp
Kraken CDN
OPEN WATER / drifting
Degraded
latency high · tentacle in the cabling
Parley Relay
NEUTRAL WATERS
Operational
broadcasting · 13.37 MHz · clear skies
Davy's Locker
−3,800 m / cold backup
Archived
depth nominal · retrieval: good luck
Landlubber Gateway
SHORE (allegedly)
Offline
raided Tuesday · failover engaged
02

What we salvage

Three services, one boat, zero satellites. Everything humanity bothered to upload, kept dry and ready for the day you want it back.

// WEB.MIRROR

A full mirror of the web

Every page, every forum argument, every recipe blog with a 2,000-word backstory before the actual recipe. Preserved exactly as humanity left it. We judged none of it.

// MEDIA.HOLD

The media hold

Films, albums, and fourteen seasons of shows cancelled on a cliffhanger. We never finished them either, but at least they survive for someone braver than us.

// COMMS.RELAY

Emergency comms

When the towers fall, we relay your message by radio, by longboat, and — if the situation truly demands it — by a very fast and discreet bird.

4.3 PB
Of humanity, salvaged
0
Satellites required
7
Nodes afloat
1
(one) very large boat
Patience for the inevitable
03

The Articles

Our terms of service. We call them the Articles because everyone aboard signed them in something, and lawyers are also offline at present.

Them as brings a hard drive gets a berth

Contribution is the only currency we honour. Bandwidth is welcome. Snacks are preferred.

The Wi-Fi password is the Wi-Fi password

It will not be changed, explained, or written down. Do not ask the Captain. The Captain does not know it either.

Backups are sacred

No file is ever truly deleted. Removal requires a quorum, a vote, a second vote, and occasionally a duel.

What goes in the Locker stays in the Locker

Cold storage is forever, or until the world asks for it back. Retrieval times are best described as "eventual."

No streaming on the bridge during a storm

The bandwidth is needed for navigation. Yes, even for that one episode. Especially for that one episode.

The cloud will fall.
You should know someone with a boat.

Reserve a berth on the network now, while the seas are calm and the servers are merely on fire instead of underwater.

Request a lifeboat